Tears of Hope
by Take
Summary: shonen ai; Part of the "Tears" series. These are standalones, written to X-Japan's Ballad Collection cd. Will Hiei ever notice Kurama? Or is it hopeless?


*Standard disclaimers*  
  
**Yaoi**  
  
Tears of Hope: Forever Love  
  
Take (January 1999)  
  
--translation courtesy of Cricket  
  
~~~~~~  
  
I'll never walk alone again  
  
The winds of time are too strong  
  
Ah, it's that which you wound…  
  
Which you'll have to live with…  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Kurama's footsteps echoed in the hallway as the youko made his way back to his room, lost in his own thoughts. The torchlight cast flickering shadows across his pale elfin features, giving them a slightly darker, sinister look.  
  
The youko stepped into his room with a sigh. He had had a long day due to the planning of the Makai Tournament, and he was tired and sore. To top it all off, he had seen Hiei.  
  
It had been a year since he had last laid eyes on the fire youkai that was his best friend, and Kurama was aware of subtle changes in the small warrior. Hiei definitely outclassed him now, but the youko knew that that wasn't all. The fire demon was calmer now, in a sense, as if he had achieved a certain peace that he'd sought so long.  
  
Kurama flinched as a particularly stabbing pain shot through his skull. After all the plans had been discussed, it had been late into the night. Tempers had been short and finally the youko had tactfully suggested that they all call it a night and get some much-needed rest.  
  
Kurama collapsed onto the soft mattress, sinking several inches into the huge bed. Toeing off his boots and allowing them to fall where they willed, Kurama ran long fingers through his hair, fanning it out on the pillow. With all the planning and preparations that had been going on, he hadn't had the chance to talk to Hiei.  
  
I wonder if he missed me - or thought of me at all, mused the youko. He approved of what he had seen of the new, more matured Hiei; despite his reservations, Kurama had to admit that accepting Mukuro's invitation had done the youkai good. Unbidden, a memory of their first meeting sprang to mind, and Kurama couldn't help but grin. He's still hot-tempered, but not as reckless.  
  
In Hiei, Kurama had found a true friend, and for that he was grateful. I'm glad I met you Hiei, even if I can't be more than a friend.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Ah, this tight embrace  
  
And this hot, unchanged heart.  
  
In this ever-changing time  
  
Love will never change  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Kurama turned and snuggled deeper into the tight embrace, resting his ear over the steady beating of a heart.  
  
The kitsune moaned as a hand moved over his chest to stroke a nipple, teasing it into a hard little nub. Light butterfly kisses were feathered over his face and lips, becoming firmer as they traced his jawline and down his neck. Unconsciously he arched, baring more of the slender column to the onslaught of kisses.  
  
Kurama gasped as fangs scraped gently at the hollow of his throat, unable to move in the snug circle of his lover's strong arms. They kept his own at his sides as that incredible mouth moved over him, kissing, licking, sucking. Kurama shuddered and moaned, tossing his head recklessly from side to side, red locks falling around his face.  
  
Writhing, he parted his thighs, allowing his lover to move between them. A breathless sound of desire caught in his throat as the youko raised his eyes to meet burning ruby ones as Hiei moved to join his body with his -  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Will you hold my heart  
  
Stop flowing tears  
  
Again, all my heart is broken like this  
  
Forever love Forever dream  
  
Only flowing emotions…  
  
Bury these intense, trying but meaningless times  
  
Oh tell me why  
  
~~~~~~  
  
- and Kurama jolted awake with a start, his chest heaving.  
  
Kurama flopped back onto his pillow, trying to calm his breathing. Inari, he'd thought himself rid of these dreams. Out of sight, out of mind, right? Right. He grimaced; all it had taken was one glimpse of Hiei and they had started again. Kurama got up and headed for the shower, eyeing his erection sourly; it looked like his water bill was going to go up again.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
All I see is blue in my heart  
  
Will you stay with me  
  
Wait until after the wind passes  
  
All my tears are flowing  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Kurama stood in the shower, letting the cold spray wash over his body. He'd long since given up hope that Hiei would reciprocate his feelings; he knew that, didn't he? Didn't he? The youko groaned, thumping his forehead against the wall. "I'm an idiot." Kurama felt something slide down his cheek; he pretended it was water.  
  
With a sigh, the youko got out of the stall, toweling himself off and slipping into one on his Chinese tunics; he didn't feel like wearing Yomi's uniform at the moment. He had a grueling day ahead; since it looked like he wasn't going to get any more sleep, he might as well get a head start.  
  
Traversing the span of hallway to the dining hall, Kurama felt a breeze stir tendrils of still-damp hair. He turned, a smile on his face, his eyes alight. "Hiei."  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Forever love Forever dream  
  
Stay with me like this  
  
Hold my heart that shakes in the dawn  
  
Oh stay with me  
  
~~~~~~  
  
The youko cocked his head playfully, disguising the sudden rush of desire the youkai's presence evoked. "I was just about to get something to eat," he indicated with a motion of his hand, "Join me?"  
  
Hiei nodded, his features inscrutable. They made their way to the dining hall, choosing their meal in companionable silence. No words were needed as the two friends renewed an old bond.  
  
  
  
Kurama took a sip from his teacup, brushing aside scarlet locks of hair. "You're looking well," he commented. "Just what have you been up to this past year?"  
  
Hiei shrugged. "Training," he said. "Nothing as publicized as you. Yomi's been keeping you busy, I see." Kurama's head snapped up; was that a note of jealousy he had heard in the bass voice?  
  
"Just the usual things an heir is supposed to do - not that I really want the job." Kurama grimaced, his lips twisting. "I've told Yomi over and over that I don't…want…to be…" Kurama's voice trailed off weakly as he noticed Hiei's expression. The fire demon was staring at Kurama's lips as if he wanted to devour them, the look in his eyes definitely predatory. Kurama gulped, swallowing a sip of tea nervously and unconsciously licking his lips.  
  
Hiei smirked, rising from his seat and leaning close to the stunned kitsune's ear. His breath tickled the redhead's cheek as the breathed words drove all coherent thought out of his brain. Oh my, he can't have meant it the way I think he meant it, could he?  
  
"I'll see you tonight."  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Ah, everything good seems to be ending  
  
In this unending night  
  
Ah, what else would you lose  
  
If nothing at all matters?  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Kurama hesitated in front of his chamber door before twisting the knob, filled with both nervous anticipation and dread. Hiei's cryptic words had replayed themselves in his head all day, constantly distracting him from matters at hand. The youko slipped inside - and froze.  
  
Strategically placed candles gave of a sensual, cozy effect. Kurama moved further into his room. "Hiei?" he called hesitantly.  
  
"Here." The youko looked toward his bed; sure enough, there was a fire demon reclining on it. Kurama took a shuddering breath and forced himself to sit casually at the foot of the bed, letting his eyes ask the question hanging between them.  
  
In response, the Koorime sidled closer, reaching out a callused hand to grasp a forelock. He brought it to his lips, listening as Kurama's breathing hitched. Releasing the scarlet tress, Hiei moved his hand to trace the youko's lips, feeling them part under his touch. "I've wanted to do this for a long time now," he whispered.  
  
Kurama's eyes widened as Hiei kissed him, then slid shut as the fire demon demonstrated just how good he was in that area of expertise. As Hiei's hands moved lower, distracting, Kurama managed, with a superhuman effort, to push away and gasp out, "Matte, Hiei. There's something I have to know, first." The youko was obscurely pleased to note that Hiei's chest was heaving as well.  
  
"Nani?" Hiei finally asked, a strange, watchful expression creeping into his eyes.  
  
Kurama lowered his gaze, suddenly unsure. "If - if we make love," he stammered, clenching his hands into fists, "I'm going to want more than just tonight. If we do this, I'm not letting you go, Hiei." Kurama's knuckles were white with tension, and his youko side was kicking him for a fool; why couldn't he have left it alone? Hot on the heels of that question came the answer; because it wouldn't have been enough.  
  
Warm, callused hands took on of his, holding it to a petal-soft cheek. The youko raised damp emerald eyes, hardly daring to hope. "Hiei?"  
  
The youkai smiled slightly, baring the tip of his fangs. "Why would I want to leave?" he asked simply.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Forever love Forever dream  
  
Stay with me like this  
  
Hold my heart that shakes in the dawn  
  
Oh will you stay with me  
  
Until the wind passes  
  
Stay with me again  
  
~~~~~~  
  
"What about Mukuro?" Kurama asked softly.  
  
"I serve her on a professional basis. What I do in my free time is none of her business." Seeing the doubts in emerald eyes, Hiei cupped the kitsune's cheek. "We'll work something out, fox."  
  
"Hai," Kurama whispered. He wanted this to work more than anything in the world. He wanted the promise written in the crimson eyes.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Forever love Forever dream  
  
I'll never walk this path  
  
Oh tell me why Oh tell me true  
  
Teach me how to live  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Hiei grasped handfuls of Kurama's tunic, laying back and gently pulling the kitsune atop him. Winding his arms around Kurama's neck Hiei said, "Teach me how to live, fox," before kissing him deeply.  
  
Kurama sighed, giving himself up to the kiss. Hands moved over his body, tugging at his clothes. Teeth followed the path of his tunic down his shoulder, making him gasp as Hiei found a particularly sensitive cluster of nerves at the juncture of his neck.  
  
Distracted, Kurama hardly noticed the hand at his waist until he was pushed onto his back and stripped of his pants in a smooth motion.  
  
Soft emerald eyes opened as Kurama felt Hiei leave him. Breathless, he watched as his lover swiftly divested himself of his clothes. For an endless moment, fire demon and youko gazed at each other. Then Kurama opened his arms, and without hesitation, Hiei went into them.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Forever love Forever dream  
  
Within flowing tears  
  
Shining seasons will forever change again and again  
  
Forever love  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Kurama sighed contentedly, snaking a possessive arm around the sleeping fire demon's waist and pulling him closer. Their relationship wasn't going to be an easy one; the kitsune had no doubt that Yomi, and maybe Mukuro, would object. He didn't care; Hiei was worth everything to him; a forever love.  
  
  
  
~Owari  
  
  
  
*****  
  
Notes: The 'Tears' series is my experiment and personal challenge to write angst. Uh, as you can see, the first try didn't turn out quite that way… I'm so soft. _;; Every fic is a separate story unto itself, so there's no need to read them a particular order. 


End file.
